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Remyth: Tell Nandi you're just not scared

When I was a very small girl, my mother was very committed to the idea that I would not be afraid. She understood that I'd feel fear and encouraged me to simply ignore it, walk around it or only give it a small amount of time. I am not sure if this was because she was scared often, or if it was because she was determined not to be.

She told me the story of the Bull and urged me to not be scared.

When she was a girl she had to walk to school past a field with a large Bull in it. Her gran made sure that she was not wearing anything with red in it-- be it orange or violet or pink, she wore muted things of green and brown and blue on days when she had school. She explained that for many months she would run past the bull's field, afraid of what he might do to her. She said that she would hold her breath and scurry past because if the Bull were to see her, he might destroy her. He might gore her on his big horns or trample her under his hard and heavy feet.

I am not sure what happened, but eventually after months, she decided to talk to the Bull. To have its blessing and to pass freely. And she did. She approached the Bull, spoke to it, made her requests and then she had safe haven to pass it daily. And she was no longer afraid.

Even today, when there is an obstacle, I talk to it. I search for its eyes and wish to appeal to its common sense, compassion and hopefulness. There're many gatekeepers-- and many bulls to pass and I keep walking, with my mouth moving and my eyes looking into theirs.
So next time a white queer person approaches you (if you're brown, or are of any race and have the gall to question the logic/underlying suppositions of the OMG ITS BLACK PEEPUL OPPRESHUN OF GAYZ) throw a little Nate Silver on that ass. Please re-post widely-- because while lots of people have gotten down to the number crunching and debunking of this popular meme-- Nate Silver has the credibility to actually make it stick.

Prop 8 Myths

Writes Dan Walters of the Sacramento Bee:

Last week, however, 10 percent of voters were African American while 18 percent were Latino, and applying exit poll data to that extra turnout reveals that the pro-Obama surge among those two groups gave Proposition 8 an extra 500,000-plus votes, slightly more than the measure's margin of victory.

To put it another way, had Obama not been so popular and had voter turnout been more traditional – meaning the proportion of white voters had been higher – chances are fairly strong that Proposition 8 would have failed.
Certainly, the No on 8 folks might have done a better job of outreach to California's black and Latino communities. But the notion that Prop 8 passed because of the Obama turnout surge is silly. Exit polls suggest that first-time voters -- the vast majority of whom were driven to turn out by Obama (he won 83 percent [!] of their votes) -- voted against Prop 8 by a 62-38 margin. More experienced voters voted for the measure 56-44, however, providing for its passage.

Now, it's true that if new voters had voted against Prop 8 at the same rates that they voted for Obama, the measure probably would have failed. But that does not mean that the new voters were harmful on balance -- they were helpful on balance. If California's electorate had been the same as it was in 2004, Prop 8 would have passed by a wider margin.

Furthermore, it would be premature to say that new Latino and black voters were responsible for Prop 8's passage. Latinos aged 18-29 (not strictly the same as 'new' voters, but the closest available proxy) voted against Prop 8 by a 59-41 margin. These figures are not available for young black voters, but it would surprise me if their votes weren't fairly close to the 50-50 mark.

At the end of the day, Prop 8's passage was more a generational matter than a racial one. If nobody over the age of 65 had voted, Prop 8 would have failed by a point or two. It appears that the generational splits may be larger within minority communities than among whites, although the data on this is sketchy.

The good news for supporters of marriage equity is that -- and there's no polite way to put this -- the older voters aren't going to be around for all that much longer, and they'll gradually be cycled out and replaced by younger voters who grew up in a more tolerant era. Everyone knew going in that Prop 8 was going to be a photo finish -- California might be just progressive enough and 2008 might be just soon enough for the voters to affirm marriage equity. Or, it might fall just short, which is what happened. But two or four or six or eight years from now, it will get across the finish line.

And everything changes

I am watching McCain concede, like a gentleman.
I am watching girls kneel and cry. I'm listening to my grandma laugh through the phone and praise God for living long enough to see this. She is 72. Her mother paid poll tax. Her mother's mother was born into slavery. In my other ear I am listening to my mom marvel at the sea of people-- all kinds of people-- Asians, Blacks, Jews, Latinos, Old, Young. My mother grew up in segregated Florida and Alabama. She remembers when she could not eat at Howard Johnson in California as a girl.  I am text messaging Julian Ryu and asking where he is. Is he in Brooklyn or in Times Square? Can I see him on tv? I am thinking of myself, a biracial, Arab named lawyer and I am smiling.

The connections I have tonight-- the things I'm conveying to the people I care about are reflective of this victory. This isn't a Black victory. This is an American victory. The tears on my cheeks are American tears and my joy is American joy. All those people rejoicing-- they rejoice peacefully and happily.

Maybe the revolution can be televised.

Friends Only

As of today, October 1, 2006, my livejournal is friends only. 
I welcome visitors, but I must know: 
a) where I might know of you from
b) why you're adding me now

Most people who have wished to view my journal have been added to my friend's list. If you aren't sure, you should check(a good way to guess is by the number of posts you see). If you haven't been added, I don't know of you. If you would like to change that and then comment  with your information. Please note that I post in high volume. Expect between 3 and 7 posts daily under normal circumstances.

This journal is largely about growth, grief and change. It is necessarily personal, often intense and frequently intimate. 
There are filters relating to sex, romance, fiction and fat-- you may inquire about these filters but I will ultimately decide who gets to read these portions of my life.

Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 2.5 License.  


So most of you who might attend this already know about it but....since I wish I could go, and cannot-- I will repost anyway. 

Cupcake - Delicious Dance for EveryBODY - is now on the 3rd Sunday of Every Month at Holocene - 1001 SE Morrison
5-10pm. - $5

The next one is:

Sunday, September 17th!

And we have a Great theme this time!

Cupcake is back! And just in time for a Fat Friendly Dance Party Education!

Back to School Night at Cupcake!

Come dressed as your favorite campus character; school girl/boy, headmaster, nun, librarian, school nurse, cheerleader, football star, professor, marching band kid, mathalete, art geek, whatever! There will be dancing, cheering and a spelling bee!

5-6 Cheerleading Practice: Always wanted to get your hands on some sweet pom pons and learn some cheers? Come hang out with F.A.T.A.S.S. for cheerleading practice and learn a cheer. Maybe the headmaster will let you have an impromptu pep rally!

6-7 Spelling Bee! With Prizes (donated by In Other Words and other fabulous folks).
Come before 6 to sign up for the fattabulous Spelling Bee! Beauty and Brains! Show us yours!

7-10 Dance Party with DJ B-Dag and DJ Harmony


Yearbook Photos: All night long you can get your photo taken for the yearbook by the fabulous Kina Williams (kinawilliams.com)! Fix your lip gloss and practice your poses. Portraits and club photos will be taken.


Cupcake is your monthly dance party for fat folks and allies. A mixed-gender, mixed-sexuality fatty fete with dj's spinning bountiful beats, cocktail confections to delight and debauch, and cupcake dancers-a-go-go!! Come shake your booty in a positive, empowering space for all body types!

Site, badly in need of update: http://www.fatgirlspeaks.com/cupcake -- We'll get it updated with the new dates soon!

You scored 91 imagination, 100 confidence, 70 dominance, and 54 generosity!
You are a KINKY, CONFIDENT, DOMINANT lover who prefers to give.

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
free online dating free online dating
You scored higher than 99% on imagination
free online dating free online dating
You scored higher than 99% on confidence
free online dating free online dating
You scored higher than 99% on dominance
free online dating free online dating
You scored higher than 99% on generosity
Link: The What's your sexual style? Test written by lu-mina on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

knavish_sprite, how on earth did you score fluffy handcuffs?


LJ clean up

I'm cleaning my friends list up while I contemplate keeping the account alive and kicking, and what to do with it beyond if I do decide to keep it alive. 

There are some people who've been or will be moved off the mutual friends list. This isn't personal-- I just have a limited capacity to read other people's journals-- and that capacity usually relates to whether I know you in real time or not. Similar motivation has got me removing people who have had access to my friends-only posts. I've got 8 million filters as it is and I'd like to simplify, so, if you haven't peered into my eyes directly, you probably won't be on my mutual friends list anymore, with the rare exception of people who have INFO-Only journals-- and read mostly from their other LJ accounts. 

I'll be trying to write more open posts. I average 3-5 posts per day for those who are curious-- I'm going to attempt to be more concise and make one of those daily posts public. I'll be thinking more about what filters are appropriate with my remaining friends: If you'd like to be a part of my sex or fiction filter-- please comment and let me know. I'll also be making a relationships/romance filter for those who'd like to be included on that sordid mess. Anyone on my hyperfilter will remain there. You don't get input. Sorry.

I'll also be removing some other people-- those who I hear nothing from. If you are one of those infrequent posters (but you read frequently) and you'd like to stay, just comment here. 

This is, by the way, the fault of irregularjoe

ETA: My reduction of people on my friends list it isn't at all related to comments appearing in my journal, but how many journals I can keep up with on a regular basis. I feel that if I cannot read everything carefully and respectfully (since that is what I'd want for people who chose to read my journal), I should not read at all. At the same time I also want to read people who actually update regularly--equal sharing/voyuerism-- hence the removal of people who don't post much (to their own journals. I.e. if you don't feel comfortable with me reading your details, I don't want you to read mine). 

My lookalike-- a definate Buffy theme, no?

I didn't get the young sexy Sophia Loren (pictured under the cut) , but the crazy looking, leathery one. I don't know how I feel about that. 

So I got Alyson Hannigan, Charisma Carpenter AND Freddie Prinze Jr (who is married to Buffy herself). Tell me its not a coincidence. I dare you.


Meme snagged from bias_cut

Click here.
Take the quiz.
Post your results.
See rottenfemme's results.Collapse )1) Would viaggi_sentasiand sizeoftheoceanlook good together? Maybe. Two fat ladies on the town always look smashing though.
2) Is mattblakkpopular? Apparently so.
3) If viaggi_sentasitook over the world, who would suffer? The diet industry. Definately the diet industry.
4) If mattblakkand baaaadsistahwere spliced together, what would be its name? Fruityfagamo
5) Would on_reservebe a better ninja or pirate? I say pirate-- I don't see ninja's stopping for tendergrill sandwiches
6) What is baaaadsistah's favorite color? Mmmm. Pink? Yellow?
7) Does amaramaknow adjibouti? Probably.
8) How would huskypapikill worldwalkerdc? It'd be a contest of the tops... anything could happen.
9) If on_reserveand amaramawere spliced together, what would it be like? Like heaven I'd wager.
10) How many monkeys could jessicaevefight at once and win against? 9. Definately 9.


(Click here to post your own answers for this meme.)

I miss somebody right now.  (I know moving to the PDX would be stupid.) × I don't watch much TV these days.  (My life is reality televison.) I own lots of books.  (Do comics count?)
I wear glasses or contact lenses.  (Green Spectacles baby!) × I love to play video games. I've tried marijuana.
I've watched porn movies.  (I am a porn movie.) × I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.  (Ooes hurling oranges at that motherfucker when he comes to your house (again) count?) I believe honesty is usually the best policy.
I curse sometimes.  (Uh, I use the word fuck as a modifier, predicate and my motherfucking punctuation.) I have changed a lot mentally over the last year. × I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.
it goes on...Collapse )* * * * *


Trying this again

Sneak Peek

So, as some of you know, I'm doing a presentation on Fat Femme stuff at the Femme Conference-- I'm also producing a documentary about fat queer people in general. I've left this post open because I told Chaz to come see-- Chaz, baby, I told you! You're a star!

Uh...where's Mr. Depp?

LiveJournal Username
Fifteen men on a dead man's chest!
Cutlass or pistol?
What is the name of your pirate ship?
Where is your secret pirate base?
What kind of loot do you prefer?
What do you and your crew prefer to be called?
Parrot or monkey?
Your capable first mate bias_cut
Your bumbling cabin boy with a heart of gold knavish_sprite
The aloof, yet honorable, pirate with a mysterious past gndrfukd_daddi
Is always the first one into the fray anthonygabriel
Is the naval officer who ruthlessly pursues your ship viaggi_sentasi
Is the comical pirate who is always drunk on grog always_in_drag
Is currently in Davy Jones's locker amarama
The amount of money you make as a pirate $142,838
This Fun Quiz created by Lynn at BlogQuiz.Net
All the latest Music News at NewsDump


Wikipedia Meme

Taken from theoryofgravity,

Go to Wikipedia and type in your birthday, but not the year. Pick out three events, two births and one death, including year, and post.

Birthday: August 22

1950 - Althea Gibson becomes the first black competitor in international tennis 
1559 - Bartholome de Carranza, Spanish archbishop, is arrested for heresy
565- St. Columba reported seeing a monster in Loch Ness, Scotland


1963 - Tori Amos, American singer, songwriter, and pianist 
1920 - Ray Bradbury, American writer  
(it must also be noted that John Lee Hooker also shared a birthday with me he was born in 1917)


1609- Maharal of Prague, Jewish mystic and philosopher (b. 1525)

Again... it figures.

kii --

Insatiable to the point of crazy

'How will you be defined in the sexual dictionary?' at QuizUniverse.com



LiveJournal Haiku!
Your name: rottenfemme
Your haiku: brings me and forcing
it into submission i
felt better until
Created by Grahame

Some sort of friend meme


1. name:
2. birthday:
3. place of residence:
4. what makes you happy:
5. what are you listening to now/have listened to last:
6. do you read my lj:
7. if you do, what is particularly good/bad about it:
8. an interesting fact about you:
9. are you in love/have a crush at the moment:
10. favorite place to be:
11. favorite lyric:
12. best time of the year:
13. Do you remember when we met?
14. Have I been a good friend to you?
15. Tell me something you've never told me before.


1. one thing you like about me:
2. two things you like about yourself:
3. put this in your lj so i can tell you what i think of you.
4. post a picture of yourself (if possible)
You Are 70% Boyish and 30% Girlish
You are pretty evenly split down the middle - a total eunuch. Okay, kidding about the eunuch part. But you do get along with both sexes. You reject traditional gender roles. However, you don't actively fight them. You're just you. You don't try to be what people expect you to be.


Another love blogthing

Your Candy Heart Says "Cutie Pie"
You always seem to have a hot date, even though you never try to meet anyone. A total charmer, you have a natural appeal that keeps you in high demand. Your ideal Valentine's Day date: multiple dates with multiple people Your flirting style: 100% natural What turns you off: serious relationship talks Why you're hot: you're totally addicting


No shit Sherlock.

Your #1 Love Type: INTJ

The Scientist In love, you tend to be very private and withdrawn - even when things are going well. For you, sex is important in a happy relationship. Less important when things aren't going well. Overall, you are confident, intelligent, and serious about commitment. However, you tend to hold back and not show your emotions. Best matches: ENFP and ENTP

Your #2 Love Type: ENTJ

The Executive In love, you seek relationships that you can grow and learn from. For you, sex should always be exciting and experimental. Overall, you are bright, energetic, and helpful. However, you tend to be challenging and confrontational. Best matches: INTP and ISTP



cherries, oneglia_1
plastic sweat. metal skin. metallic tears.

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